“I’m so worried for my son,” Rita said. “He just joined the military, and I know he’s been having a rough time lately. I just need to know what we should do for him. Can you read for him? Does he have to consent?”
“I’m sure my husband is cheating,” Sue told me. “Can you look and see?”
“My mom is getting on in life,” Bill said. “I want to help her clear away negative karma with her family before it’s too late. Can we do that?”
These are just a few of the requests I get from clients to do readings on behalf of others. As we move into the holidays, people are thinking about their loved ones and feeling grateful for family and friends. It’s natural to want to help those we care about, and at times it is completely appropriate to get a reading for someone else. And there are also times when it’s really none of our business what someone else’s future might hold.
Examining Your Motives
Intention and motivation are key for me when a client asks me to do a reading on someone else’s behalf. I’ll first ask what they hope to gain or accomplish, why they want the reading, and why the person in question doesn’t contact me themselves. From this initial conversation, I can usually perceive the ulterior motive and whether it’s in alignment with my values as a reader.
For Rita, I did agree to the reading as long as she had her son’s consent. He was surprisingly intrigued by the idea, though he wasn’t in a great place to contact me himself for a reading as he was currently in bootcamp. Her motives were to help her son, and she was willing to go to extraordinary lengths (for her, psychic guidance) to find what was best for him.
With Sue, I asked her many questions to determine what was really at stake. While she had a genuine fear that her husband was cheating, the core issue was that she felt the marriage was stagnant, and she was sexually frustrated and playing with the idea of an affair. I did not feel looking at her husband’s energy field was going to reveal anything useful. We did a Tarot reading to explore the opportunities present in the situation, and I drew a card to represent his energy at the present moment. That card was the Eight of Cups, which was quite revealing. Because we addressed her issues rather than the projections she had about him, she was able to enter into conscious dialogue with him about their marriage.
Bill’s case was common, and I agreed to the reading with the caveat that I would ask permission from her at the soul level first, and if she could consent to me that way, then we would proceed. His intentions were to make the end of her life as smooth as possible and positively impact any future incarnations. I did ultimately end up clearing a lot of negativity and outdated contracts for his mother, and though it couldn’t impact the actual process of aging, he did report that she was much less angry and seemed more peaceful.
What Types of Readings Can You Get?
Not all readings are suitable for getting by proxy. Other people have free will, and so fate-based questions like “will he” or “should she” are almost impossible to do with any accuracy. I also feel that reading for people to see what choices the other person might make is ultimately a cop out for my clients. A more empowered choice is to do what they want to do, not spy on the potential actions of others.
Readings that examine energies in which you both have a stake can be revealing, like in Sue’s case. So a psychic or Tarot reading is appropriate once you can get to the heart of the querent’s question. With clients who can’t give consent—such as the elderly, mentally ill people, the developmentally disabled, or small children—looking at their energy fields and doing repair and clearing out chakras is helpful. Reading Akashic Records or doing past life clearing can also create incredible change for their future, if not their present.
Composite astrology readings can be tremendously useful in understanding the energy and purpose of the relationship itself. Synastry—or the comparing of two birth charts—can give clients insight into how they are reacting subconsciously with the other person. Similarly, having your child’s natal chart read can give you great parenting insight and help you understand your child better.
Ultimately, all psychics have to decide their own boundaries for conducting readings by proxy. If you have good intentions that are meant to empower the person for whom you want the reading, then getting a psychic reading for your loved one can be the best first step in helping them.